Wednesday, June 15, 2011

My life isn't exactly one of fairy tales and ponies, and especially not one of happiness.

But you guys knew that already.

It's been very hard for me to feel like a regular person, what with my hating humanity and everything in it. Lizzie was always ever the only person I could tolerate for long periods of time, and whenever I was with her, I felt...well, normal. Happy, even. Looking back on it, the carnival was the last time I felt like that. And since she's been gone, I haven't been able to replicate that.

Until, surprisingly, the other night.

I had gone out to check on Celeste, who had been away from the room for longer than she probably should have. I found her at the beach looking out at the sky, listening to her music. I think she knew I was there, but she didn't acknowledge me. Not at first.

The night sky on the beach is beautiful. Like I said before, maybe once upon a time Lizzie and I could have come down here, and whenever I look up at those stars more and more I think this would have been the place for the two of us to have made some kind of a life together. When you lay back on the sand and look up, all you see are stars and all you hear are waves. You feel like you can tumble right out of the world, into the sky. Which isn't too bad a thought sometimes.

She suddenly pulled her earplugs out and let the music play out over the speakers, which brought a smile to my lips at how goofy it was. And she laughed...really laughed. It had been so long since I had heard a laugh that was not bitter, not forced, not compressed due to the situation we were in. A genuine laugh.

A wave crashed, and brushed against the hem of the dress she was wearing, causing her to freak a bit, which in turn caused me to laugh. She pouted- her little chipmunk face pout, as Wren called it- and then she did something I didn't expect; she took my hands, and she led me into a dance.

Dancing on that beach...never thought I'd ever see myself doing anything like that, but there I was, actually enjoying it. I guided her, spinning her around, occasionally stopping to let her spin to her own delight. She was amusing to watch, spinning and skipping among the waves, and in the right glare of the moonlight she looked almost like Lizzie; shorter, but just as full of life, and just as beautiful.

Now, before your little minds go places, don't. Nothing like your dirty thoughts happened. But for one moment, I felt happy. As if the life I was leading was not so full of sorrow and rage.

If only every moment could be like that.


  1. Take your happiness where you can find it. Savor it while it lasts. Keep it in your heart when all else fails.

  2. laughter and music are both keys to living life as it should be lived. i firmly believe that, Zeke. hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. stay safe.


  3. Small, brilliant moments are what makes life worth living. Find happiness where you can, and hold onto those moments. Because when the sky tears asunder, and the pillars of Heaven shake, it's those moments that'll pull you through alive and sane.

    Glad you found something to be happy about Zeke.

  4. Hold tight to your happiness. Moments like this are the things you look back on down the road when everything's gone all to shit.
    I'm glad you had one now. Gods know you deserve it.

  5. Maybe... that's all we can count on. All we can hope for. Just these little points where we forget everything exists, just for a little.

    Do you think... that's all the escape we can ever get?

  6. Beautiful. I'm sure you don't need telling, but cherish moments like these, Zeke.

  7. There's a reason to survive Zeke. Surviving would be a slap to the 'face' of Slender Man himself. Others will see they can escape. they will follow the example you've created. Maybe we can stop this all together.

    Don't fear him. Just keep your head high. It's his weakness.

    He likes to play with his food. It gives him power. It's time to take some of it back.

    Happy Hunting
    -The Director

  8. Live for what makes you smile.

    All one can really do in life, man.

  9. White Knight, your tea is getting cold.

  10. I'm not the only one to notice this, right? (sorry for the double post)