Friday, April 1, 2011

Ohhhhhhhhh Zeke. Zeke Zeke Zeke. What have you gotten yourself into now?

Seriously, who DOES that? Goes into a building that by experience alone everyone knows NOT TO GO IN THERE? I can hear it now, "Aaaand the Dharma Award goes toooooo..."

Very kind of you to leave your laptop open for me, by the way. Haven't you ever heard of "logging out"? You never were very internet-savvy, were you?

So, hopefully, Zeke, you read this and you survive your little excursion, and when you do, just know that I'll be in contact soon. And that goes for the rest of you too, y'hear? You all be ready for when I call.

No, I'm not Redlight.

No, I'm not a remnant.

No, I'm not a fed.

No, I don't work for Slender Man in any way shape or form.

But you'll know me when you see me.

Hope you get out of there, Zee.

Oh, and Mary says hi.



  1. oh shit. gamejack?

    what happened zeke? remember we're all pulling for you.

  2. Echo- Eh, I don't give a fuck.

    Maduin- Wrong-o.

    Matt N.- Were I a gamejack, don't you think I'd be saying "ALL HAIL OUR GLORIOUS TEN-ARMED LEADER!" or something?


  3. you're a guy whom Zeke will recognize on sight, even if he's never seen you before, at least that's what I figure from your message.

    You are also quie certain, or at least you were, that Zeke needs time to come back, since you answered four and half hours after originally posting, which you could only do because Zeke left his laptop on and his account logged in.

    Also, I totally love the name "GLORIOUS TEN-ARMED LEADER".

    This will prove interesting.

    If anyone thinks I'm not worried about Zeke going to the red building I have this to say:
    Of course I'm not worried, HE'S ZEKE, FUCKING, STRAHM. That simple.

  4. Correct.

    I'm just borrowing this for a day or two.

    Oh yes. Very interesting.


  5. Oh for the love of god. No-one ever listens to the bed-ridden girl, do they?

    Well, whomsoever you are, you're a joke.

    Fitting, considering the day.

  6. VV? you still there?

    can i have a burger with fries?

    thank you.

  7. Woooah, steady there, gorgeous. I'm on your side here. Ease up on the insults, kindly.

    Already ate them. You can have the toy.

  8. OH man... you really are bad....


  9. Ahhhh, fuck it, what the hell, it's April First. I need a laugh.



  10. VV, you wanna get some coffee sometime?

  11. Takes a lot to get me mad, hot stuff. I'm enjoying myself at the moment.

    I prefer my coffee black, straight, no sugar, and by myself.

  12. Well, then who the hell ARE you? If you're not involved in this, then what do you have to do with Zeke? If you're irrelevant, darling, just admit it. We won't judge you.

    Okay, that's bullshit. We're judging you.

    Ava's right. You're just a joke. But I don't take kindly to jokes who hack my friends' blogs and post cryptic shit. Have you MET Zeke? He's been through his cryptic shit phase. I didn't like him much then, either, and I like you even less, "W."

    In conclusion: leave the blogging to people with proper grammar, and kindly run along and fuck yourself.

  13. What happens when you get mad?

  14. Guys, guys, shut the fuck up. Every time someone like this comes along and hacks an account or whatever, you know what happens? We mock and shout at them and they hurt people we care about. So, seriously, shut the fuck up.

    Afternoon, VV. Forgive me if I'm a bit irritable, I drank a pregnant women's water weight in whiskey last night and I am now nursing my head.

  15. Haha, has anyone else noticed that the URL makes it look like someone's quoting their response after an evening in bed with Strahm?

  16. hhhhhhhhhhhehehehehehehehahahahahahaha.

    Ohhh, goodness, you guys really have trust issues, don't you? Relax, I'm an old friend. And I knew him before any of you chums did, so I think he'd probably appreciate me being around then you strangers.

    Thank you, Reach. Might want to lay off the whisky for a while, might do you some good.

    What gets me angry? Nothing that you can do to me.

  17. Well, you'll understand if we have trust issues. We are facing an abomination that violates the very fabric of reality, makes God cry, and turns brother against brother, you know.

  18. People, people. W is obviously M's brother. Or a sister he never heard about. Hence the choice of a flipped "M" as his signature.

  19. Well isn't this a fascinating turn of events.

    Someone we're suppose to recognize - or at least, that ZEKE'S supposed to recognize - without ever having met you...

    I have a few ideas.

  20. What is it with people who have single letter names. Does Slender Man hold an intense hatred for the Latin alphabet?

  21. VV, you'll hopefully forgive the lack of trust we have in someone who apparently just accesses another's laptop (presumably without permission) and starts making posts on their blog. It's hardly good manners.

    At any rate, what do you gain by doing this? This post likely is either a "show of power" for Zeke or something directed at us, the readers (which would make me assume you want something from us). Or is this all just a joke and you actually are Strahm?

    I, and likely others, would like some answers. Of course, we have no means with which to demand them, so consider this a request.

  22. Pfft. What are you going to do, dead man? Take your hand off and throw it at me?

  23. ...So you say you're on our side.

    ...Okay, then. I'm too tired/naive/hopeful/etc. to argue, so I'll believe you for now.

    Hi. I'm Alora. You know Zeke, huh? Was he always...Zeke? (I can't think of another way to put it...)


  24. @Omega - it's actually two letters. It's to Vs. VV.

    @zero - I don't think we need to worry about Zeke being hurt here.

    @VV - don't worry about "trust issues", the guys lack any form of subtlety

    @Reach - tomato juice?

  25. I truly do not understand you runners and fighters, and the like.

    This man is astoundingly wonderful!

    +Red Cross+

  26. Guys, we can't judge this guy. we'll just have to wait for zeke to tell us what he knows. until then i'm going to ack real friendly with this guy.

    How was your day, VV?

  27. Well... If you are truly a friend of Strahm's, then all I feel the need to say is Greetings.

    To all of you whom are screaming about how rude it is for Mr or Ms VV to be using Strahm's laptop and questioning their motives...well..did you ever think that perhaps they cant stay in one spot too long either? Maybe this is their way of leaving him a message he'll get when he returns from his excursion.

    Its like you lot were born without sense. Calm down till there is a REASON to get riled.

  28. Being nice to him is also judging...
    Just be neutral with this guy. We don't know if he's an enemy. But we also don't know if he's a friend.

  29. In some of the earlier entries to seeking truth there is a user called "widowmaker" who has left a few comments...from march third of this year. I'm guessing it's this loon,even though all I have to go on is the initial of the guys username.

  30. Two V's?

    I like the idea of the flipped M. But a V reminds me of Violet. Except it more than likely isn't her.

    Ugh. I don't even know.

    I'm not going to call you out. You don't sound inherently evil or bad.

    I will wait.

    ~ Branwen

  31. @Hellershanks

    This VV claims to be "borrowing" this blog for a day or two. Either this person has managed to change Strahm's password, they have actually stolen his laptop, or they are somehow certain Strahm will not respond to this for at least two days.

    If they cannot stay in one place long, they could easily lose Strahm, and if they did indeed steal Strahm's laptop, then he may never see it again.

    As for leaving a message specifically for Strahm, why not make a text file detailing their intentions and place it prominently on the desktop? Or leave a paper message? Or seek out Strahm directly?

    The reason we question VV is because we have little information on this person and want answers. However, all the information we currently have points to rather shady tactics. And previous instances of blog hijacking related to the creature are typically malevolent in nature.

    We have nothing to go by but prior knowledge and what we can infer. For me, so far this points to nothing good from this person.

  32. I doubt there's any reason to worry, as several have said already. Zeke is the motherfucking man, and can take whatever Slendershit throws at him, and more. So Mr. W, if you're still on, may we call you Watori? (Bad Death Note joke ftw.)

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  34. Interesting. None of these rebels seem to know who you are. It should worry me that I do not if I had not been out of the game so long.

    Glorious Ten-Armed Leader? Really though, you do amuse me, whoever you are.

    Hopefully we shall meet soon.

    Oh, I almost forgot to give a nice hello to Zeke-y old boy. You seem to have become quite the hero on here. I must say I am quite impressed; the Tall One informed me of what you pulled last year. I might just have to watch myself around you.


  35. Can someone explain who the hell the guy above me is? I'm a bit new to the fight against the spokesman of the Big and Tall store, and have no clue who he is. Seems like a proxy to me, or maybe a defector.

  36. As I said I have been out of the game for quite some time. Since well before Victor Surge brought He That Is to the attention of the Internet. He has not yet allowed me to take action, but I shall be lurking around.

    Also, do not believe that I have any interest in Mr. Strahm, I merely chose to comment here while I am in the process of getting caught up on current events. All of you are safe from me until the proper Time.

  37. what does he now have to worry about Cthulu? or maybe he must face BEN huh? Oh no look can't you see? You've been blinded by fear the villain you are looking for is..., Justin Bieber the most horrid lovecraftian eldritch abomination fear him repent the end is nigh